Okay. Real talk now.
Preamble: I am probably overinvested in all this. (But then this should come as no surprise to anybody reading this Tumblr, considering the amount of time I spend on content for it. And of course what you don’t see is more time I then spend watching…
Well well… thanks for an interesting and thoght-provoking text post. First I thought not to bug in but since I don’t seem to get this out of my head, I might as well. I have thought about this since yesteday evening and can’t get other things done before I get this out of my chest so here we go.
Oh I absolutely don’t mind the discussion! And honestly — what you just said is more or less how I felt. “I need to get this off my chest.” (For better or for worse.)
I’m just going to comment on snippets here, and try to not go all tl;dr again myself.
Conchita has certainly changed since Eurovision, not to mention since the pre-ESC era but I think it’s GOOD. In my mind, she has developed as an artist and gained a ton of self-confidence which totally shows on stage.
Yup, I definitely agree! She’s more self-confident and overall a better performer and is growing into it more and more every day, and it’s beautiful to watch (I thought she was good at Eurovision… little did I know — and she shows no sign of stopping).
My only qualm is that sometimes it feels like she’s so focused on delivering a technically perfect performance that the result ends up being a bit… dry, for lack of a better way to put it. And they are not bad performances, by any means, I just prefer the ones that run deeper. They feel like magic and I can’t stop watching.
"I want the person who is smart, eloquent, well-spoken, witty and intelligent, but also sometimes daft and silly. -conchitacouldyounot" I can’t quite grasp the thought here so feel free to correct me if I got it wrong. To me, she still is all that. Have we watched different interviews? ;)
Oh no, she still is all that, but it feels recently in interviews there’s far more of the first five than of the latter two. Again, not a bad thing, and again, if that’s what she wants god bless, but I miss seeing more of the latter two. She feels more distant now.
(I love that interview you linked, by the way!)
It must be scary as hell, to lose your identity for a greedy crowd. It is a totally different thing to share your life and I don’t know, spill your insides out in the open for a handful of people but she’s already reaching a 1 million milestone in FB followers… and even more people follow her career through interviews etc. It’s natural she wants her/his privacy – in order to be able to carry on what she’s doing without a nervous breakdown or seriously burning out. I don’t think she’s pushing us back but coping in a situation she says she has prepared herself her entire life but I’m sure still came as a shock how everything really FEELS.
I’m just going to leave that above section there because I agree completely. She’s coping. I just miss the openness (and I do worry that she might be pulling back a bit too much).
That said, I just feel the need to make something crystal clear.
When I say I want more real, I do not mean I want to snoop into her private life or see more of her younger years or of her private time with her family and friends or, god forbid, see Tom out of drag (I’ve seen some YouTube comments mentioning that and, wow, just no), or anything like that. She wants her privacy, she deserves it, it would be disrespectful if I didn’t give her what she asks for while claiming to love her. There’s a reason you’ll never see me posting or reblogging pictures of Tom, even the widely-spread ones from the Starmania era, never mind the more recent ones that sometimes show up.
I just… ah, hell, how do I put this eloquently instead of just blurting feels all over the post?
I wrote in the YouTube comments that I’d love to see how she is before and after a performance, as well as some backstage material from ESC till the present time. This kind of material should be real and genuine enough, I think. I really want to see Conchita in her natural surroundings, too, not just in a question-answer interviews
I want to see exactly that kind of thing, just… not edited to within an inch of its life to show just the shiny polished parts. Because…
I will respect that and take happily anything she is ready to give us but don’t want to overstep any line she is not comfortable with. But Conchita, if you’re reading this: it’s true you really don’t have to be perfect all the time, we love you anyway. Conchita can get angry too, or frustrated. Even fail in something. We won’t judge, promise. Growth is motion - back and forth.
…because I agree with the above 100%. And I don’t think I could say it any better. The bits I bolded especially. That is what I mean when I say I want more real.